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Registry 411

What to select, where to register, and how to ask for cash


As a newly engaged couple, you're probably thinking about reception halls and dress styles, not frying pans and china. But those engagement parties and bridal showers will sneak up on you, and it's important to be registered at least two weeks before the first event - lest you get stuck with unreturnable items from a well-meaning old aunt. Here's a quick guide on how to register, from table settings to charitable donations.


Nail Down The Basics If you're starting from scratch, the choices might seem overwhelming. "The problem is, you slip into shopping nirvana when you have the gun in your hand, and you select things you'll never use," says Leah Ingram, author of "Plan Your Wedding In No Time" (QUE Publishing). Ingram suggests beginning by taking inventory of what you've already got and what you need replaced, making a list of the basics you'll need before heading to the stores.

Also consider how the items you choose will fit into the context of your life, suggests Didi Engel, vice president of registry for weddingchannel.com. For example, Engel says, picture your first dinner party, and make a list of everything you'd need for the evening, from table linens to wine glasses. Go through the same exercise for every room in the house; if you plan to have company at some point, add guest towels to your list. Many stores and Web sites provide basic registry lists to start you off.

Most experts recommend registering at two or three stores. Ingram suggests registering first with a national retailer with stores across the country and an online presence, which is helpful to out of town guests. Next, register at a "traditional" store, such as a department store or small retailer that sells fine china and other traditional wedding gift items. Finally, register with a specialty store, such as a home improvement warehouse or a camping store.

Cash Or Check, Please It's hard enough trying to let guests know about your registries without defying Emily Post, but how could you possibly flat-out ask for cold, hard cash? You can't, Ingram says. "There's never a polite way to ask for cash instead of a boxed gift. Never."

That said, however, there are a couple of things you can do if you're desperate for dough. Many wedding Web sites offer a honeymoon registry. If you purchase a honeymoon package through weddingchannel.com's partners, for example, gift givers have the option to donate toward the honeymoon. You'll receive a gift check, which doesn't necessarily have to be put toward the honeymoon, since you've already purchased the trip.

You can also register for American Express gift cheques at theknot.com, which, according to Alan and Denise Fields, authors of "Bridal Bargains" (Windsor Peak Press), is a more subtle way of asking for cash.

There's also the issue of unwanted store credit. If you end up returning a lot of gifts to a store and would rather cash than credit, the Fieldses offer the following tip: before registering, apply for a department store credit card. When you return items, ask that the store credit the return to your store credit card (most stores will allow this; check with your local store before registering). Then request that your credit balance be refunded in the form of a check, and presto - cash from the unwanted gifts.

If you register for gift checks or receive any form of money, the polite and proper way of thanking guests includes letting them know how you spent their dough, if you possibly can. Though registering doesn't have the immediacy of other wedding details, it's still a priority.

If you don't have a lot of time to plan before your first engagement party, at least get to the store and get started, Engel says. "Guests want to give couples what they want. You can continue to add gifts to your registry through the engagement period. But just get started."

Gift Set

Check out Amazon.com's Top 10 "Most Wished For" registration products:

1. Matfer Exopat Nonstick Baking/Roasting Sheet

2. Simply Calphalon Nonstick 6-Piece Bakeware Set

3. OXO Good Grips 32480 Salad Spinner

4. Microplane Grater/Zester

5. Apple 20 GB iPod M9282LL/A

6. Farberware 3-Piece Wood Cutting Board Set

7. Pyrex 16-pc. Starter Set

8. Panasonic BH-941P Ice Cream Maker

9. OXO Good Grips 28581 12-Inch Stainless-Steel Locking Tongs

10. Calphalon Commercial Hard-Anodized 12-Inch Everyday Pan with Lid




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The Registry
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